just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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