I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
