all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
