I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
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