you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
try to milk me bitch
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
