Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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