I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The police scanner is talking about you again....
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
