Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Randomize
