I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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