She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
