Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
