She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
