it wasn't lemon gatorade
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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