When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
