Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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