I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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