so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
dude i'm inner monologue high
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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