Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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