I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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