then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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