Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My cat gives me a boner
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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