Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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