It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
