so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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