I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
