Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize