Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
