And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
