Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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