I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
