i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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