If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My vagina is very pro this idea
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
