hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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