My friends, they love my intelligence
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just gift wrapped bread.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
