phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
