didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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