I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
