Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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