I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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