Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
