I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
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I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
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I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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