Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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