Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
