Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
