the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
