I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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