I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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