he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
do nipples grow back?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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