Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
