I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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