im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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