Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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