One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I lost the right to judge tonight
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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