we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
