You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
