please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
