apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
