i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
